More Than Our Story

Steve Veasey

Daniel
April 4, 2024
Advocacy, Author, Epilepsy, Illustrator, Profile, Steve Veasey

Steve Veasey candidly discusses his life, his epilepsy, and how his journey has brought him back full circle to his first love – illustration and being creative. He also advocates for mental health and normalizing vulnerability.

Highlights

I'm 38 years old. I've been diagnosed for 18 years now, but I have had epilepsy my entire life and it wasn't until the age of 20 that I was actually aware that I had epilepsy.

I have what are called partial-onset seizures, which traditionally aren't what when you think of seizures, a lot of people think of falling on the floor and frothing at the mouth - that's what Hollywood portrays for us. So when I was growing up and having my seizures, where I generally space out or blank out... nobody really knew what was happening with me... I remember being eight years old, and I would just have them quietly, and I didn't have the verbiage to attach to describe them... So I'd be going to the doctor at 8 years old and saying I'm having these things happen, and just being completely disregarded or dismissed. Doctors would just say "it's just you", "you're going through puberty".

It took until the age of 20. I had a car accident while I was having one of these episodes... I remember my family doctor coming in to visit me and he’s looking at my chart and he's like, "huh, you're epileptic. How come you've never come to see me about this before?... That was tough to hear.

A few years ago, I started having grand mal seizures. Traditionally, if you have partial-onset seizures you don't tend to have the grand mal seizures, or at least it's very uncommon... So now [I'm] really in a new category where we don't know where to navigate...

Only recently, within the last year, have I finally connected with a neurologist where I'm actually getting new information from somebody who actually knows my specific type of epilepsy, to the point where he said approximately 0.01% of epileptics have the type of epilepsy you have - you essentially are medically resistant to medication... There's almost a peace knowing that. For somebody to affirm and actually say, here's what it is. For it to make sense, and to me too.

"Every neurologist you've seen since you were 20 has been reading your MRIs incorrectly," - he flipped the MRI around to show me the underside of my brain, "That's where your epilepsy is coming from. That's where your seizures are at"... I just started weeping... Why has nobody researched this? Why have I seen so many people? This has been 18 years that I feel like I lost. I did have someone suggest to me, you almost have to treat it like a loss and mourn it, and grieve it and say, this is the time, this is what happened. I need to process it.

Since I was a very young child I was very interested in art... I found drawing really helped me focus to what I was learning about... I had every intention of going to Emily Carr (University of Art and Design) and from the age of about ten I had my course load chosen - that's where I was going to go to school.

Through my later teen years, as I became a little more impressionable and kind of questioning what the future held... people started asking these questions: "What do you want to do? Are you sure this is what you want to do?" At that point in time, I had a lot of personal, mental health things going on and some of that resolve came to me with starting to attend the church scene and getting involved in ministry.

All of a sudden I had a ton of people come speak at me at once and say that they felt like I would be good to work in the ministry or a good pastor... When you've got a bunch of people coming at you at once saying a thing, and it's a consistent message, you kind of listen to it, especially being at that age... So as I stepped into that role... A few years in I had a few people there let me know that I couldn't do both, I couldn't pursue a life of art and serve in the ministry. So basically I was told to choose one... So, I set the art aside for years and years.

No matter what aspect of my life, I'm a very creative person. It's intrinsic to who I am.

A few years ago I had to go on disability from work... I worked at this company I'm at now for 16 years, and as I climbed the ladder in leadership roles, I told myself, your epilepsy cannot define what you do. No one can see you as weak, or lesser, or anything like that because you're epileptic. They have to be able to see you for the other qualities that you exemplify you.

I got on a medication that was new to Canada at that time... but it numbed me right out... I really started to not feel like myself. It came to a point where a few workers and a few people in my life said, I think you need to go on a leave from work for a little bit and take care of yourself.

That short-term disability turned into long-term disability, which I've been on ever since then, which I fought for years and years to never do. But what this has allowed me to do in that time though, is think about things a little differently and go back to my love of art and creating and illustrating. Without this long-term disability that I'm on, I don't think I would have had the time to explore that.

Take this opportunity, and don't see it as my life falling apart because I'm now on disability, but see it as an opportunity where things have come together to give you the space to explore something that you used to love doing, was taken away from you, and now you have limitless potential of what the future could hold through illustration.

I didn't have any intention of doing anything other than learning how to draw on an iPad. I thought that would be a cool thing to try out, that's all it was... But really what it was for me was an outlet to process some of the anxiety and mental health things I had going on, with being on leave and with my epilepsy. And slowly, some people started coming along and showing up, people I didn't intend to ever reach out to. And now, a couple of years later, I don't even know what this is.

Hope for me means a lot of different things, and sometimes hope comes from the dark moments, sometimes it’s just for fun.

They say when you're an online or Instagram presence or whatever you want to call it, they say you need to find your niche... An easy niche for me could be the epilepsy route to connect with people who are epileptic and be in an epilepsy community, and literally just draw seizures all day long or tie my story to that. That would be the easy way for me to become successful, but I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be seen as just the epilepsy guy. I'm an absolute advocate for mental health, I don't want this to be just that guy either.

This story is about my story, who I am - that's gonna look different every day of my life. And maybe my theme behind it is, I hope that you find your story through it, or I hope you find courage and vulnerability to share your story.

I did have somebody say to me recently, you if you didn't have epilepsy, you wouldn't be Steve... In hindsight, I see the bigger picture a little better today than I did a couple of years ago... We need that time removed to see what that looks like and how to get there.

What makes my style a little more unique is there's a lot of heart that goes into what I do, specifically because I want to be vulnerable with people... To inspire vulnerability in others as well because we are so desperately crave it.

Very seldom do I leave things vague and up for interpretation - you can look at something and take whatever you want from it. But I think that point of connection that makes it maybe a little more unique from some of the other things that are out there, is there's an explanation behind this to why. From there you might find yourself in that story too. Even with the epilepsy - if I do an illustration on being epileptic or what it's like having a seizure or the struggle that comes along with it - you might not be epileptic yourself and it might not make sense to you - but if you see the emotion behind what I'm going through, you can say, I've been there... And I think that's something that's a universal language. We have that all within us.

If I'm going to do something with this and want to put my work out there, I should get a website. If I need a website, I probably need an email address... and so [SteveCanDraw.com]. But over time, that phrase became permission. It's given me permission to be able to do it, because for a long time in my life, I felt due to some of the circumstances I had earlier, I felt like I wasn't allowed to draw.

My book is called Thin Spaces. It explores this idea of Celtic spirituality in that here are certain places on Earth, physical places that you could go travel to, where they say the veil between heaven and earth is so thin you could almost reach out and touch heaven from Earth. Very spiritual places on Earth, places that people will go on pilgrimages in their life, to travel to have these spiritual moments and awakenings, and at a time in my life where I was really doubting what I believe, and I'm still figuring out what that is. When I came across that phrase, one thing I wondered was, as somebody who doesn't drive and doesn't really have access to travel very easily, there's not a huge chance that I'm going to be able to drive to some of these places. If I'm looking for this awakening, why couldn't I find these moments in the day-to-day and mundane moments of my life? Why couldn't that exist in the warmth of the cup of my coffee? So I wrote a book essentially about that, and paired it with stories from my own life in which these experiences maybe occurred in ways that were unexpected.

In a few cultures, they actually revere people with [epilepsy] as a blessing because they them [seizures] as a state of somebody cradling between the Earth and Heaven... They actually see them as these wonderful people who have this transcendent ability to remain within the two realms, which to me is very profound because I always thought I’m epileptic, I'm the other, you know, I'm broken and something's wrong with me.

So I tried to create... a user experience with the book. Everything had to be perfect in the sense of I wanted a specific type of paper, a certain type of cover. I wanted a [specific] visual on the cover... I wanted to have my illustrations throughout the book. I wanted to have a playlist on Spotify that pairs with the book. I wanted somebody to pick up the book and say, "I haven't really read anything like this before... it's different."... It's something I'm immensely proud of.

I hope this invites you to explore your own thin spaces, because I think they're unique to each of us... I love getting messages from people that have read it and said "this is what my thin space is", and I think that's really cool to have. That's the goal - the interaction with everything I'm doing. I hope for communication and inspiration for others too.

We have this intrinsic need to be vulnerable with other people. I think that it's been frowned upon. There's a plethora of reasons why we don't. Why we aren’t vulnerable... If you can have an ounce of courage or vulnerability to share what you're actually feeling, especially in light of things like mental health and walking through that, it's going to be a game changer for you, because you're going to find you're not the only one who felt that way.

I'm always down if you're looking for that person to have a conversation with, send me a message because I'm more than happy to be that person for you... Listen to that voice in your gut. It knows best. We tell it to shut up all the time. We tell it to be quiet because we give in to fear and anxiety. But when it comes to communication, the reality is we want to do it. We want to engage in conversation, I really believe that.

Lean into what vulnerability means to you so you can communicate well, so you can explore your authentic self and be the best version of you possible.

Steve Can Draw

Steve’s personal website. Stay recent with his current works, collaborations and more.

Thin Spaces

This is a story. It’s my story.

Thin Spaces is a journey of my faith formation written in a poetic format and includes 15 illustrations that highlight the story.

In this book, I explore the highs and lows; the mountains I’ve climbed, and the valleys that I’ve stumbled into.

This book is about learning to find the small miracles within the mundane day-to-day, and finding God in those “thin spaces” along the way. Thin Spaces is about being comfortable with asking questions and having doubts in a safe space.

This is a story. And maybe a story that you’ll find yourself in as well.

@steve.can.draw

Visit and follow Steve Veasey’s Instagram page.

Daniel

Daniel is an extremely curious person, a wealth of random knowledge and facts. Extremely passionate about a vast array of interests ranging from health to history, science to athletics, everything culinary and the list goes on. Trust us, you would want to be on his team for Trivial Pursuit. Daniel is also years into his battle with brain cancer. He experienced a seizure while on a Zoom call at work in late 2020 and quite literally, his life changed within minutes. After his operation he started to talk about his story but had always known it was more than just him. From then, More Than Our Story became a PROJECT that has evolved into the starting point it is today.

More Than Our Story

Steve Veasey

Highlights

Steve Can Draw

Thin Spaces

@steve.can.draw

Daniel

Additional Profiles

Steve Veasey

Highlights

Steve Can Draw

Thin Spaces

@steve.can.draw

Daniel

Additional Profiles

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